I Might Be Slightly Neurotic

Merriam Webster says:

neu·ro·sis

noun \nu̇-ˈrō-səs, nyu̇-\

medical : an emotional illness in which a person experiences strong feelings of fear or worry

Is that me? I think it might just be. Oh, great. Now I'm rhyming.

We're getting ready for a trip - a trip of a lifetime. Though maybe not to my ideal destination, it still has the potential to be an amazing time.

So what am I doing to prepare? Cleaning. Every single thing in my house. I need to go away with a closed door on a clean house. Then I will be able to sleep while I'm away. And I will be able to come home to a house that is not screaming at me about all the things that need to be done.

I'm also packing. And cleaning some more.  And making lists. More lists. Maybe even lists about lists.

Yesterday was kind of my breaking point in the mess I was creating for myself. Stress was overtaking me. I went for a run with some worship music and had an amazing time with my Lord.

And today? In my weakness, I went back to the stress. But as I was making soup for our supper, one song kept popping in my mind:

I am free. I am a child of the one true king, and I am so much more than lists or a clean house or baggage left by my past.

"Through you my heart screams 'I am free!'"

He has overcome the world and no lies can change that. I am free to enjoy this time with my family. I am free to tell the Enemy he has no claim over me.

I am not neurotic. I am free.